can't think of a title for this post

because i'm too miserable to be creative or even be normal. Don't know whats wrong either and doesn't feel like hormonal type blues so god only knows whats the matter with me. I'm not the kind of person to let problems or random negative thoughts to get me down for too long - mind you that's probably because in the past i would change my mood with food . just going to list my thoughts see if it helps to clear my mind a bit

• feel like i haven't been a good enough parent and the reason lew is being a cheeky little bugger is that he has no respect for me. Really worried that i don't have the skills to raise a happy and confident male teenager and the result will be a moody unsociable yob.
• i don't earn enough money - i realise that everyone lives to their means and that if i earned more we still wouldn't have loads of excess money but still - £800 a month is a pittance and i feel like i have no way of increasing it. I know how much money the shop makes and unless the general public decide to forget about the credit crunch i cant increase my wage.
• My doctor is rubbish. Just not interested in me at all. begrudgingly gave me champix but said they probably wouldn't stop me smoking - honestly! he never made one comment when i told him I'd lost 4 1/2 stone. If i have any chance of any post diet related surgery i need to change doctors asap.
• kel is still really poorly and i haven't had a kiss or cuddle for days!
• cant think of anything else but still feel like moaning
• oh i know wilsey is really down, medically and mentally and i don't know how to help. mind you when you feel like turd no-one else can really help - i should know, kel has been trying to cheer me up to no avail.
• i really really want to eat - i know its aam and i can eat but i want to overeat and have that lovely comforting feeling and the blank mindlessness that comes during a binge.
• and i'm only 2lb lighter than i was 3 weigh ins ago which is extremely annoying when i haven't cheated at all. hopefully aam will kick start things again.

didn't feel much better after writing it down but just re-read it to spellcheck and it does seem a little over dramatic! I think the truth of it is that i dont want to binge to change my mood and i havent really learnt any other techniques (other than thinking about winning the lottery but that's not helping this time just making me angry! usually works well though!)

anyone any suggestions? and please don't say have a bath - its what everone seems to say and i really cant see how having a cold top half and being squished will make me feel better!!