Measuring success by the scales

KD - super super cambridge guru from the minimins forum has posted this brilliant thread this morning. Thank you KD

Measuring success by the scales

Fact: Stick to the plan and you definitely lose weight
Fact: You can control what you put in your mouth
Fact: You cannot control what the scales say.

So what do you celebrate? The scales showing a loss, or the fact that you kept to the diet all week?

What if you stick to the diet, but the scales don’t reflect your effort?
Will you be disappointed, even though you have done everything correctly and couldn’t possibly do any better? Knowing that you will have lost weight…but it didn’t mean anything because the scales are giving the wrong result?

What if you ‘cheat’ and the scales show a big loss…does that mean you’ve succeeded and need a pat on the back?

Or even if you’ve been 100% and the scales are showing a loss? Does it mean more to you? Does that mean you’ve done even better than 100%?

I think the scales are a wonderful tool. I weigh daily, and love seeing them give the same reading day in and out, but that’s not what I really celebrate.I celebrate being in control of what I put in my mouth, because that’s what I have done. I don’t celebrate what the scales say.

So if you’ve stayed the same one week, or just lost that one pound….if you’ve kept to the diet 100%, then be proud, because that’s what it’s all about. Stick to the diet and the weight is coming off….whether or not the scales agree. And you’re worth the same amount of applause than those who have lost more.1lbs, 1 stone, it doesn’t matter.

You can’t do better than 100% after all So do me a favour, and next time you go to your CDC for a weigh in, if you’ve been 100%, go in rejoicing. Tell him/her you are going to be one of their success stories, because you were in control this week and will be next. If the scales reflect this, that’s just the icing on the cake. You’ve lost weight anyway. You don’t need a mechanical instrument to tell you whether you are in control or not.

week 7 wi - HOLY SH!TE

well according to my cdc's scales i have lost 17 pounds this week! I'm finding it very hard to believe since its week 7 not week 1 and i havent done anything different. The lovely people on minimins.com have all been great and think its very likely to be right since i have got a lot to lose but still keep thinking that the scales must be broke! I feel a bit ungrateful for not being over the moon and jumping for joy but i dont want to be all disappointed next week when i found out that it was a mistake! Its very negative and not like me at all but hey - tough!
on a much more positive note everyone can now tell that i've lost some weight and even i can see that i look a hell of a lot better in my clothes.

day 48

well check me out i've stuck to a diet for 48 days - bl**dy nora! Got to say i'm mightily impressed with myself - go Munch! I'm very excited about weigh in tomorrow, according to my scales i've lost 6lbs but i'd really like it to be at least 7 by tomorrow morning lol never satisfied

We're babysitting again tonight which is fab coz Kacey is just a bundle of gorgeous fun. I've never known such a happy child - she giggles about everything - not in a simple way though lol! She is so content in herself last time we had her when she woke up in the morning she was sitting in her cot playing with a dolly and giggling to herself for ages we just couldnt stop watching her. I'll probably be extremely broody again by tomorrow night when we have to give her back but its worth it to spend a night and a day with our adorable little monkey. Lew is mega excited too, he loves her to bits. I'm really impressed actually both with his attitude towards a little one and how he actually treats her. He loves playing with her and talks to her in a fab way - like a little daddy lol - i'm quite surprised really because as wonderful as Lew is I didnt expect a 12 yr old boy to be at all a*sed with a toddler let alone get excited and bang on about wanting baby sibs.

Week 6 Weigh In and shopping trip

When you work a 6 day week it is just not right to get up on a Sunday before 10am but for some stupid reason we booked our weigh in with our CDC for 9. Needless to say after saturday nights overindulgence we found it incredibly difficult to rise and shine and were a tad late! Despite the previously mentioned naughtiness we both lost 6 pounds this week hurrah! This means in total I have lost 3 stone 2.5 pounds and Kel has lost just 1 pound under 3 stone - in 6 weeks OMG so chuffed.

When we got home we decided to root out our old clothes that have been languishing in the garage since we moved house. Kel now has quite a few 'new' outfits but i just have 1 pair of trousers and a couple of tops that now fit. I also found a brand new pair of gorgeous pinstripe trews with the tags still on but they dont do up - yet! So inspired by our fabulous weight loss we went into Hanley to spend my birthday money and the best bit - i bought a top from a shop that wasn't Evans!! YIPEE at last - only us chubs can really understand how god damn awful it is to only be able to buy clothes from one shop and how liberating it is to finally be able to look elsewhere.

So this week we are both very determined and have promised to SS 100% and hopefully we can have a great big loss next. Its all so exciting lol!

Saturday Night Naughtiness!

On Saturday night my birthday surprise was being taken by Kel to the Regent Theatre in Hanley to see the Blues Brothers Party

Even more of a surprise was that Mum and Lew met us there with pork pie hats and shades on lol! Even though I would have said its not my kind of music I had a brill time - boogied in the aisle and sang myself hoarse!

Afterwards Kel and I went to Pink and we were very naughty and had a couple of alcofrolic beverages oops! I had such a great time, the drag dj's were hilarious, the cabaret fantastic - sooo much better than in Crewe's pitiful excuse for a gay bar. But where oh where have all the gay boys gone? the club was mostly full of women gay, sr8 and curious lol and a few older gay men - very strange! The usual mix, especially in Crewe, is 90% young gay men on the pull and a 10% mix of Dorothy's old male and female friends and a couple of fag hags who just want to dance and not be bothered by men. Got to say Pink was brilliant fun, really lovely refreshing atmosphere and great dancing although just like every drag queen they refuse to play much R&B! They did however play Justin's Sexy Back - to which I did a Wade Robson inspired number LMAO

The evening was finished off with a small box of doner meat on the way home - naughty munch and kel!

Fab Fat Blog Find

OOh just found a fab new blog - new to me not to blogland. In fact seeing the amount of readers its got i am probably the last person in the world to read it. This particular post and its comments are a great read. havent got time to go on need to get off the pc like an hour ago but had to make reference to it asap. might update later.

Week 5 Weigh In

Well add a meal is over and its back to sole source this morning. Not worried about it at all and i haven't had to read my tirade to myself yet. This week we have really enjoyed eating but been restrained and not gone overboard and have both lost 2lb each. Since i was expecting to stay the same i am chuffed that we have lost anything. I am thinking of this journey in terms of blocks of 4 weeks with a week of aam before starting the next 4 week block. So our totals for this 1st block are

kel 2st 7lbs
Munch 2st 10.5 lbs

it might be a little unrealistic to expect the same losses for this next block of ss but another 2 stone in 5 weeks would be great - fingers crossed (and mouth shut lol)

True to form

Wilson has just rang to say she has a prior engagement for tonight that she had forgotten about. Mind you she has let me know before I've bought food so i'll forgive her just this 'once ' lol. Actually I don't mind because it means i can go on the wii fit again lmao it's now letting me on it without making rude comments about me so last night I did an hour and a half! Dont get me wrong though - i had a couple of breaks throughout the night! I get REALLY sweaty doing the aerobic stuff pretty minging but i love it - especially the step plus one - I just need to beat Kels massive score!

Day 32

Feel great today. I am putting Gillian Riley's advice to action re Times and Plans. So today i will have my second meal replacement - gorgeous chocolate shake - no sooner than 3pm. The plan for tonight is

1. To cook a lovely chicken dinner because our best mate Wilson is coming for tea
2. I will not eat while i'm cooking
3. I have planned to eat the chicken, cauliflower mash, courgettes, mangetout, red pepper and a small amount of pesto sauce.
4. I will not eat any of the potatoes or gravy and if i need them tasted i will ask Lew to do it for me.

I feel supremely confident that i will stick to the plan but i hope that i will feel an 'addictive desire' to snack while i'm cooking or eat the potatoes because then, according to Gillian that will give me a chance to retrain my brain.

Can't wait to see Wilsey, she's been in Oz for a month and we've really missed her. We call her our adopted teenage daughter, she's 29 but very naughty !!and treats us like her parents - coming for tea and bringing her laundry, trying to bend the truth when she's been extremely naughty and generally being very teenage. But we can't help but love her, she's pretty adorable really, like a naughty overexitable puppy! I can't even begin to imagine what exploits she will enthrall us with this evening!

"Eating Less" by Gillian Riley

This books is great. I'm on chapter 3 already lol. It makes a fantastic point about weight loss not being the primary goal but rather to make controlling the addictive eating the priority. I have always said that even though I am more than double the body weight i should be, it is the horrible way my mind works, the binging, guilt, depression cycle, that i have always found worse than just being fat. Its not just that being fat makes me feel bad - its the awful things i do, like lying about and hiding food, stuffing food in when i dont even want it, taking out my nasty mood on my loved ones, and the headaches and tiredness that I really want to end.

What Gillian is saying is that if weight loss is your primary goal then not only are you not really dealing with the main issue - like an alcoholic making his red face the thing he wants to be rid of rather than the actual act of drinking excessively: but also that weight loss can be the very reason that you become demotivated and overeat.

I'll confess about what made me so miserable last night and made me want to eat everything in the house. As planned I went on the Wii fit as soon as I got home and it said that I was too heavy to use it! Don't laugh! Its like that joke about a fat person getting on the scales and them saying 1 at a time please!!
Now I had been on the wii that morning and the night before so I flew off the handle and was distraught about what weight i must have gained during the day. I suppose I was especially distressed because it was my first day on add a meal and I had chicken salad for lunch. So what did I do? I went on the scales and they said 4lb up from what I weighed the morning before. Did I allow myself to think that you always weigh more in the evening than in the morning and thats why we all know to be consistent in our weigh in times? No. Did I feel good about having managed to leave my lunch till the alloted time rather than wolf it down early? No. I became wracked with guilt about eating - and the solution? Eat some more! So i had some chicken and veg (thank God thats all we have) And the result - a thoroughly miserable munch all night and when i woke up this morning I felt exactly the same.
I guess what i'm trying to say - none to elequently, is that yesterday I fell into the trap of prioritising my weight loss and therefore when the loss was in question I lost the motivation for doing CD so I overate.
I dont yet know the answers - but I do know that i'm putting the scales away tonight and i'll be focusing on not overeating when we have tea tonight. And when I achieve that i'll be basking in some positive self-esteem for having achieved todays goal. I am going to try to go on the Wii again tonight even though this morning i was adamant i wasnt going anywhere near it ever again and if it is rude (lol) I will just understand that my weight fluctuates and i have nothing to feel bad about because i have followed CD to the letter today and I will be able to go on the Wii again soon. So there!

day 30 by Munch

Feeling really down today. I know why and its a bloody stupid reason but all the same i am miserable and today would definitely be a binge day. But I am not binging and i have no inclination to because i know that it would make me even more depressed. So i could look on the positive side and see growth in that comment - but i cant coz i'm miz lol!


The post lady has just been and delivered my new book EATING LESS by Gillian Riley. Its all about food addiction and understanding and conquering it. In the first chapter it lists 21 characteristics of a food addict to see if this describes you - 20 of them describe me - omg!

this particular passage really hit home

' To varying degees addictions temporarily change the way we think and feel; they make us high, drugged, absentminded, or numbed in some way. Overeaters can go into a kind of daze while eating a perfectly ordinary meal. A food binge can create a state of intoxication or stupor not unlike that produced by alcohol.
This altered state of consciousness can create a buffer between us and our feelings which brings us a sense of comfort, and this is why we often turn to our addictions when we are unhappy or stressed. '

I'm amazed that someone can describe exactly my experience - bodes very well for this book helping me to get a grip on my food addiction. I might have cheered up a little bit ;)

Week 4 Weigh In and Start of AAM

I feel amazing! This week i have lost 8lbs which means I have lost 2st 8.5lbs in a month! I LOVE CAMBRIDGE!! lol It also means that I have finally been allowed on the Wii Fit! I've been dying to go on for ages so went on last night and loved it. So much so that I went on again first thing this morning instead of having a lie-in!! sooo unlike me!

Kel's weight loss this week has been incredible - 10lbs !! I'm so proud of her and she has quit smoking! 4 days now - and i wanted to be her inspiration for stopping lmao - its totally the other way round - i'm still puffing away. I'm going to go the no smoking clinic and get champix like she has.

Its the first day of Add a Meal (aam) today - hurray cant wait !! We are having a chicken salad with artichokes and roasted red peppers as well as the usual salad leaves and cucumber. I have made a dressing by watering down some mayo and adding a small amount of pesto - it has fat content obviously but no carbs so should be fine for staying in ketosis. I made it all last night so that we can have it for lunch today coz Kel working late tonight. I Will make a shake 'muffin' for supper when she gets in.

I am totally clock watching waiting for lunch time! Just goes to show that even with a month in 'rehab' the minute I am allowed food my food addict nature kicks in! I am determined not to eat it before 12 though - I will not give in to my addictive desire ( phrase I've picked up from minimins.com lol). So i'm distracting myself with drinking water and posting this blog and oh yeah - doing some work lol.

Back in the saddle

Well i cant believe it I had done so well! Last night I ate a chocolate from a tin of roses someone had left at work. I didnt even want one, didnt even think about. I have been craving sausage rolls, pork pies, cheese on toast, pizza but did i blow my diet for something worthwhile NO for a measley square of dairy milk when i havent even missed chocolate. This just shows me what an addict I am I wasnt hungry it was just there. I really wanted to lose 5lb this week and then it would be 2 stone in a month and i'm really concerned now that I wont. Whats weird though is that its not like other diets, normally before now if i'd messed up on a diet I would just think oh sod it now ive ruined it and eat away but on this i just want to get back in the saddle. I dont know whether it is because I'm getting so much support from munch of course but also lew my dad her mum and people at work that i dont want to let anyone down. Maybe its because i have a goal now cos of the wedding! Actually what i think it is, is because i believe in this diet i believe it can work and quickly and ive never felt that way before.
Anyway fingers crossed for sunday weigh in i'll let you know.
Love kel
PS quit smoking today too aaagggghhhhh

News Just In

Kel has just come home off a late shift and informed me she has eaten a mini dairy milk! OMG OMG OMG!!!! Since she doesnt come on the internet much i am going to force her to look at minimins.com for some help and motivation. I might give her some support and some of my superior wisedom - i haven't yet decided lmao. Naughty naughty kel

BY Munch FOR Munch!

Feeling much more positive today. Been doing lots of reading on minimins.com about food addition. Have been panicking about next week when we will add an evening meal - A LOT. Feel slightly calmer about it now. My fear is that next weeks weigh in if we do lose an acceptable amount of weight then i will feel like what is the point of sole sourcing if we can eat and still lose weight. But just had a bit of a revelation so writing it down to read next week in case thats exactly how i feel!

To Munch - you are sole sourcing because you have an unhealthy addiction to food and by removing it for 4 weeks at a time you effectively go into rehab where you can have a break from the addiction and will over time unlearn your addictive behaviour and develop a new positive relationship with food. If you were able to eat an evening meal continually and lose weight you would have done it by now - think of all the other diets you have done. Of course you lose weight when you stick to the plan but for you longer than a week is difficult still because eventually you will be faced with a choice of food and you will choose something that will trigger a binge and you will be off the weight loss path. Eventually you will be able to eat like a 'normal' person but before that you have too steps to make - lose all your excess weight and relearn a healthy relationship with food.
Try to remember how relieved you were to discover this diet and how perfect you thought it was for you. You have always said that being in control of food was as important to you if not more as being a healthy weight.
Now get back to sole source!

Day 23 - Worst day so far

Yesterday - day 23 was the hardest by far. Don't really know why but every little thing wound me up and stressed me out. I felt ill, headachey and bloody miserable. In the past I have always soothed my emotions with food and the fact that i couldn't/wouldn't made me furious and vile. I was so horrible to Mum, Kel and Lew - sorry guys xx

I kept thinking about the food we can have next week on Add A Meal week and I wanted it there and then. I wasn't hungry at all - it was definitely the kind of binge crisis I have always had. Before the Cambridge diet the minute i got to work I would have ordered a sausage and egg baguette, a large tuna and mayo bap and a chocolate bar from the delivery guy and eaten it all straight away even though i would have told myself that the bap was for lunch. Then i would have spent the rest of the work day looking forward to popping to Tesco on the way home where i would have bought a luxury bag of 4 big choc chip cookies and eaten them all before i got home ( a 15 min drive) I might even have bought chocolate for me and kel to have after our dinner which if i was feeling as bad as i did yesterday would have been a big takeaway.

Glad i have just written that all down - makes the fact that i put some mushrooms in the Cambridge soup i had last night seem positively restrained lol

I really need to get my head round the addiction to food. I am worried that I will lose this weight but not deal with why i overeat and then either put it back on or more likely be forever miserable trying to maintain. As important as losing weight is i really feel that changing my relationship with food is equally important for me. I HATE the fact that it controls me.

If you do LighterLife you get counselling as well as food replacement packs but there is no way i can afford that for two of us. I love the Cambridge and it is definitely working. But I do think I need to work on my mind as much as my body. Don't quite know how yet - Mum has suggested talking to my GP about getting a counsellor. It really p's me off that if my addiction was drugs or alcohol there would be loads of support services.

Mum has really helped today - i was explaining (trying to apologise for my shocking behaviour yesterday!!) saying that i am just used to making myself feel better with food and mum pointed out that actually after that immediate rush i would have felt worse than i did before - and she is dead right but i couldn't see that yesterday.

If anyone has any helpful suggestions please let me know x

The Dreaded Hospital Visit

I've finally been to the hospital for my check up with the neurologist. Last year I was seriously ill in hospital with Benign Intracranial Hypertension . I was in hospital for 2 weeks and after a lumbar puncture (the most awful experience ever) drained all the excess spinal fluid away I was allowed home. I was put on tablets which would presumably be for life - as they have no idea why BIH starts or stops. I was obviously told to lose weight and stop smoking and I took the advice and felt the episode was a huge warning of what could happen if I carried on overeating.

Unfortunately when I started the Cambridge diet I was told that I couldn't take my tablets anymore because they are a diuretic. I wasn't too worried because for a couple of months I had had no BIH symptoms, just side effects from he tablets and I kept forgetting to take them which had had no ill effect.

So yesterday I went for the first check up with the neurologist and I was petrified! That whole time last year was traumatic and it took me a long time to recover - not just physically but mentally and emotionally. I was convinced he was going to say I was ill and he'd need to admit me or at the very least say I was stupid for coming off the tablets and make me start taking them again and therefore stop Cambridge. But he said I was absolutely fine!!! He was pleased with my weight loss and not bothered about the tablets at all. It such a huge relief - yee hah I'm a happy bunny today!!

What Buffet?

We survived fine! The smell of the food was quite powerful and other people are quite odd about you not eating - either feeling sorry for you or taking the mick and waving food at you - but hey that's family lol. Mini munch as ever won most supportive son - there's no way you could cheat anywhere in his proximity. Even when we make shakes into cookies he quizzes us on whether we are allowed them. Slightly irritating but very well meant bless him.

So after our complete abstinence at the buffet we came home and had a bit of broccoli and 4 mushrooms in our veg soup and a tetra-pak ice cream - yummy. Since we have been losing weight fine we are going to have a very small amount of veg either Sat or Sun night every week unless we stop losing weight at the same rate we are now. Having the veg is giving us something different to eat to alleviate the mind numbing boredom of soup, and a mini goal to get through the week and it also kind of makes you feel a bit 'normal' ! It isn't making us crave other food and isn't making us hungry so I am happy to do it at the moment but if anything changes or the amount creeps up then I will put a stop to it because we are so committed to our weight loss.

Week 3 Weigh In

The official Cambridge Diet Weigh in results are

total weight loss to date

Kel - 1 stone 9 pounds
Munch - 2 stone 1/2 pound

Woo Hoo we're both very very happy!
My BMI is now 49 which means I've met my first goal !!

Weirdly we worked out the percentage of fat lost of our total amount to lose and we have both lost the exact same - 7.9%