week 12 wi

Hurrah - I've officially lost 5 stone! I started at 25st 2 and my bmi was 53 and 3 months later i am now 20st and my bmi is 42! Obviously there is still a way to go - i'm still obese but i feel fantastic, and i know i can and will get to goal. Been having a much better time this week already. I have not been going on the minimins forum for the last couple of days and i have stopped thinking about this diet so much. All i could think about was the Cambridge Diet - i felt suffocated by it. So I'm having a break from thinking about it and I'm just doing it!
I have set up a wedding blog because Kel was filling the pc with pictures and ideas i thought it would be nice for her to have one place to keep it all and be able to find it again. In doing it I've found some fantastic wedding sites out there really inspirational. Check out our blog at http://munchieswedding.blogspot.com/

oh and i finally stopped smoking on Saturday so that makes a grand total of 4 days so far. The Champix have really helped and they don't make me feel sick anymore. bonus!

day 60!

who'd have thunk it! Us two foodies (that's me being polite - what i mean is fatties) have done a vlcd for 60 days! I'm very proud of us both, yes we have had struggles when our food addict gremlins have shown up and maybe the odd bit of chicken has been eaten when it shouldn't but on the whole we have been bloomin fantastic. Yea us!

I'm getting excited now about add a meal next week. We've worked out the menu and imagined each meal (A LOT!) I feel much better this time round. The run up to the last aam i was in a state of pure panic! I know now though that i will be able to eat what we have planned and not overeat, not pick after the meal has gone and even better i know that once the week is over i will be totally able to stop and continue with another 4 weeks of ss-ing. I guess the fear i had last time was due to my feeling of ss being rehab - total abstinence is safe, ketosis means hunger is a very brief and fleeting thing and the lack of food choices means the lack of food 'issues'. But reintroducing food however limited surely would bring all the negative stuff with it? I was as surprised as anyone that at the end of each meal i felt full, satisfied and elated that i had some control over food. And come the sunday night and time to get ready for ss-ing for another 4 weeks i was fine and had no need to read the lecture I'd written myself the week before anticipating mega tantrums.

I'm starting to miss our little man a bit today - he's in Tunisia with my mum. He's told me to tell everyone he's in North Africa - apparently that's way more impressive! I don't know - any foreign destination sounds good to me, i haven't been abroad for 5 years! Funnily enough thats how long we have had the shop! in fact except for my illness last year I've never had more than 3 consecutive days off work lol
Mum and i had a chat before she went away and she has committed to letting me take a whole week off next year either the may hols or Easter. I am determined that we should get a last minute cheapo holiday abroad. Kel isn't as sold on the idea - she sees every penny spent as a lost opportunity to save for the wedding!

Talking of saving money I still haven't stopped smoking, kel and mum have been non smokers ages now - very naughty Munch. Made an appt with smoking cessation woman at the village chemist (for some bloody stupid reason my doctors don't do it) when i got there she had gone home ill. Tried to rebook it yesterday, took me a day or so to stop fuming, and was told she has now gone on holiday till November - honest to god! that is a well good enough reason to puff away in my opinon! No i am going to stop - spending an £5 a day on cancer sticks is ridiculous. I've got an appt with the doc on Monday anyway (i want to show him i've lost 4 stone so that when i go having lost 14 stone and need a tummy tuck he wont be too surprised lol) so I'm going to ask him if he'll prescribe champix coz its worked on mum and kel. We'll see what he says - i didn't think much of him but I've only seen him once so I'll give it a go.
wow that was a bit of a long post - sorry!

Week 4 Weigh In and Start of AAM

I feel amazing! This week i have lost 8lbs which means I have lost 2st 8.5lbs in a month! I LOVE CAMBRIDGE!! lol It also means that I have finally been allowed on the Wii Fit! I've been dying to go on for ages so went on last night and loved it. So much so that I went on again first thing this morning instead of having a lie-in!! sooo unlike me!

Kel's weight loss this week has been incredible - 10lbs !! I'm so proud of her and she has quit smoking! 4 days now - and i wanted to be her inspiration for stopping lmao - its totally the other way round - i'm still puffing away. I'm going to go the no smoking clinic and get champix like she has.

Its the first day of Add a Meal (aam) today - hurray cant wait !! We are having a chicken salad with artichokes and roasted red peppers as well as the usual salad leaves and cucumber. I have made a dressing by watering down some mayo and adding a small amount of pesto - it has fat content obviously but no carbs so should be fine for staying in ketosis. I made it all last night so that we can have it for lunch today coz Kel working late tonight. I Will make a shake 'muffin' for supper when she gets in.

I am totally clock watching waiting for lunch time! Just goes to show that even with a month in 'rehab' the minute I am allowed food my food addict nature kicks in! I am determined not to eat it before 12 though - I will not give in to my addictive desire ( phrase I've picked up from minimins.com lol). So i'm distracting myself with drinking water and posting this blog and oh yeah - doing some work lol.

Day 11

Last couple of days have been a struggle for both of us. Think we are in agreement that the cambridge diet is much easier while you're at work and busy even if in kels case there is temptation its much easier to stay strong in front of other people. But at home I definitely feel weaker and we both are quite whingey and moany (sorry Kel!!) Lewis's pizza last night was complete torture - deep pan pepperoni mmmm. So i cut a small disc of pepperoni in half so we could both have a tiny something and we chewed that little morsel to death. It was amazingly delicious! I tasted it much more than would have in the past.
I'm really struggling with quitting smoking. I have started everyday as a fresh day being a non-smoker but everytime I've had a visit from a smoker I've pinched a fag. and last night had a few of kel's. Ok so I've only had a bout 10 in 4 days but still its not quitting is it! And right now i really really want one and its making me VERY GRUMPY. Not a very pleasant or effective saleswoman today! In fact customers beware especially if I can smell smoke on you!
on a positive note according to my scales i have lost a pound a day the last few days so thats good.
Have been reading lots of good cambridge diet blogs which are keeping me motivated. The latest one i have found http://cambridge-diet-08.blogspot.com
the writer has been drinking 5l of water on average a day so think I'll try upping mine and see what happens - i probably have about 3l tops. Its worth a try!

days 6 & 7

Wow this weekend has been really difficult both food and fag wise.

Saturday daytime was easy because both so busy at work.

Saturday night was just terrible Kel was desperate for food and I was really craving cigarettes and it was impossible to do anything to support each other so we argued! Guess I could have predicted it really - it was bound to happen at some point. The lesson learned is that visualisation of yummy food and imagining eating it only works for me - definitely not Kel!!

Sunday day we stayed in bed as long as poss so as not to crave our usual weekly treat of cooked breakfast.

Went to the replacement Cambridge Diet Counsellor (CDC) - ours is on holiday for 2 weeks. Not impressed. Don't get me wrong, she was a lovely lady and it was a lovely setting but not a good experience. While we were there I wasn't really as bothered but the more I've thought about it the more awful i think it was.

After asking us the normal how have you got on questions she then asked what would we be doing for the second week! Hardly motivating us to do SS is it! Felt like saying 'well I think I'll be mostly having quarter pounders with cheese'. Then when we said we'd be doing Sole Source for at least 4 weeks then maybe Add A Meal on week 5 then back to SS etc she seemed genuinely surprised and went on about how not many people manage it! Honest to God what a let down.

Things went from bad to worse really when we couldn't find out how much we'd lost this week because (a) the scales weren't the same as our usual CDC's and (b) they weren't good enough to weigh my weight. You can just imagine how good I'm feeling about that right now - writing it is making me cringe.
To top it all off she advised us that if we really really struggle we could have a bowl of vegetables with the veg soup on top (not so bad) but then she took some crackerbread out of her cupboard and said you can try these they're only 19 calories and lovely with low fat phili!!!!!! OMG !!

To my mind she can't understand how this diet works - I said to her that that surely would bring us out of ketosis and she said 'oh yes' like that was ok! My basic understanding of why this diet works and the main reason I have been able to abstain is that ketosis burns fat and has the side effect of stopping the worst of the hunger pains and that if you eat carbs or too many of any calorie then you will come out of ketosis - start storing water, putting on weight and be incredibly hungry!

I can understand a CDC advising you that if you are losing the will to live (lol) then go ahead and eat veg or lean protein rather than fall of the wagon. But to advise us to have crackerbread - nasty cardboard crap thats all carbs - its just wrong surely. God we've got to go back next week to get our provisions. Mind you she has got an adorable dog for me to play with!

The rest of the afternoon was rubbish for me coz I was bored being on my own - lew in Anglesey and kel at work. I used to love having the house to myself. It was a really rare treat that i would long for and savour. Not so anymore. I was really lonely, bored and de-motivated. Thinking about that makes me feel weird. I have been so independent as a single Mum for all these years and now whats going on? lol co-dependency? argh lmao I think I'm loving it really!! very strange!

I've done something stupid. On the way to pick Lew up I went into a shop and bought 10 fags. Its not as though i was with smokers and caved or was particularly stressed - i just don't understand why for once i couldn't talk myself out of it. I knew exactly what I was doing - i didn't need to be in the shop for anything.
I don't want to tell Kel because i want to show her its easy!! lmao and I can't tell Mum because she's just given up as well and don't want to encourage her fall off the wagon. Just spoken to her on the phone - lied, so now feel doubly shitty.

Kel came home off the late shift and immediately confessed to having had a small piece of chicken!!! So i confessed my sin and we had a bit of a laugh, cry, cuddle moment!

Now that I'm writing this I'm thinking that possibly the experience at the CDC effected our ability to abstain. But don't want to make excuses its no-ones fault but our own. The only thing we can do now is climb back on the horse! Tomorrows another day.

Effects of not smoking

today is my 4th day not smoking. Feel really pleased with myself and have found it really easy - I havent been around anyone smoking yet tho - kel has been going outside. Starting to get the bad physical effects now - coughing up the crap on my lungs. but i know its only temporary because i've given up for long long periods before so i know that the good bit is round the corner - no more breathlessness, no more heavy leg feeling and tons more energy. Just got to get thru the phlegm stage!

Munch Goals

This is what I am going to achieve by stopping smoking and doing the Cambridge diet. I was feeling a bit demotivated so thought it might help to have a clear list of my goals and stages of weight loss.

The reason I will continue to be a non-smoker and Cambridge dieter is:

• To have enough energy, to be able to breathe well enough and to have a small enough body to be able to do anything I want and enjoy life as much as possible.
• To learn - to ride a horse, a martial art, yoga.
• To be in control of food rather than it control me.
• To understand my addictions and have strength to overcome them
• to take Kel and Lew to Alton Towers and us all be able to go on what we want.
• To go swimming with Lew more often.
• To inspire/motivate/empower Kel to quit smoking and so reduce the risk of Lew starting to smoke.
• To be able to buy cheap clothes because can buy them in any shop
• To never start smoking ever again.

Step by Step Goals

• To reduce BMI to 50 (done 25/08/08), 45 (done 28/9/08), 40, 35, 30 then 25 then re-assess target weight goal
• To be under 20 stone, under 15 stone, target weight

Day 2 - by Munch

Last night was a pain, waking up every couple of hours desperate for a wee. Dreamt I'd eaten food and broken the diet so woke up feeling crushed slowly realised it was a dream - what a knob!

Today had Vanilla shake with coffee - warm like a Latte - was OK.

lunch had toffee walnut shake - yummy. defo having that one again.

Bit personal and gross but had 3 poos today - got progressively looser and greenish black! sorry if that TMI!!

still at work so not had tea - looking forward to it coz I'm ravenous lol
been fine with the smoking - or lack off! feel really strong about it only have the occasional moments where i think I'll go have a fag then remember but i tell myself "you don't smoke - why on earth do you want a cigarette? how weird!" Its working so far lol!

Day 1 - by Munch

Bl**dy hell can't believe I'm doing this diet - its drastic and difficult! I'm really proud I'm committing to it though - 1 day done quite a lot more to go!

Had cappuccino shake warm with coffee for breakfast, butterscotch for lunch and oriental soup for tea. Got to say very impressed with the flavours - all really nice. Prefer the soup to the shakes so far so next week might have soups for lunches.

Didn't feel full after any of the 'meals' hope like other people have said that I will after a couple of days. Drank loads of very very diluted cordial as agreed with CDC which did take the edge off the hunger. In total think i had about 3.5 litres.

Managed okay not smoking - had hunger pangs and cravings for food more than fags. Probably because i know i can give up smoking - I've done brilliantly before - this time need to not start again lol! That's how i'm thinking about it - as of now i am a non-smoker - why would a 34 year old obese woman decide to start smoking? That's what i need to keep asking myself if i feel desperate for a fag. lmao - check out Alan Carr.

Mood wise I was okay most of the day - got a bit nasty later on in the evening because felt drained but cheered up when Kel came home from work.

Happy Campers

Hooray - we're off on our holibobs tonight! 3 days in Moelfre in Anglesey in a tent! Not exactly a luxury hols but hey beggars cant be choosers. The weather is gorgeous today so fingers crossed it stays like this coz don't fancy putting the tent up in the rain - its bad enough we cant leave till 5 since I'm working. Its quite good though really - Kel has had the week off which means she's been at home doing all the organising and packing while my contribution so far is to remind her to pack my phone charger!

I'm taking 3 books with me - the Alan Carr Stop Smoking book , Amanda Hamilton/ Sandy Newbigging Life Changing Weightloss and a cheapy crime novel from Asda.

My intention is to stop smoking and start the Cambridge Diet on Monday when we come back home! Talk about aiming high! So next week i'll have post holiday blues, and nicotine and sugar withdrawal - mmmm i'm going to be such a lovely person - poor poor Kel and Lew!