Ups and Downs

we've been struggling to stay on track the last couple of weeks. The pattern seems to be get weighed on a Sunday and eat Sunday and Monday night. Not good. And even worse eating hasn't just been limited to chicken salad this time. We've been visited by our good old friends chocolate and chinese. A bit of a disaster as far as ketosis is concerned. Wierdly the chinese wasn't anything like i remembered/ imagined, my palate must have changed. I cant say that i particularly enjoyed it for its taste - just the naughtiness of it. The chocolate on the other hand was DIVINE!
Looking at the positive side both weeks we have managed to get control and get back into the Cambridge diet relatively quickly. Our total weight loss to date is
munch 6stone 10lbs
kel 5stone 3lbs
probably best to focus on that positive news rather than the food!

At the beginning of this diet we were adamant that we wouldn't eat any other time except our eating weeks and even though Xmas fell on our eating week we would stick to Cambridge rules and not have carbs. Oh how we've changed! Its kels work do tomorrow so we are going and we are going to eat, there's a Xmas dinner party at friends on Sunday and we are going to eat there too, then we'll do ss until Xmas eve and then have a carby meal with mum, Xmas day we'll be as good as possible and just eat meals - no snacking on chocs or nuts - but there is no way i'm not eating my mums incredible Xmas cake and i'm not resisting the baileys either! Then we might eat on boxing day then ss until new years day wen we are having friends round. A bit different from our initial intentions! I'm not worried though which i was at the beginning. Before my mind was very black and white. either i sole soured or i overate. there was no middle ground of eating normally. And even though we have broken the diet and eaten, which i would class as addictive behaviour, i don't feel like I'm going to eat addictively through Xmas. I might be in complete denial but i feel as if we have eaten addictively in the last few weeks simply because we have been without food for so long and that if we did the version of Cambridge where you can have an evening meal we wouldn't have behaved the same. Not that i think I'm able to do that version long term and still lose weight - i know damn well I'm not capable of that yet without overeating eventually , but i think I'm now in control enough to be able to cope with carbs a few days over Xmas and still get back on cd ss for the rest of the weight loss. I hope i can anyway - there is a little monster in my right now saying 'but if you are eating on Sunday, Wednesday and Thursday why bother doing ss on Monday and Tuesday'. I'm not listening - he only knows how to behave addictively - i can chose to ss Monday and Tuesday so shut up! Does this diet shrink your brain? i sound like a right nutter!

oh and that terrible rumour has come true for me - my hair is dropping out at an alarming rate! its fine for me because I've got far too much anyway and its really thick hair but its very messy - it gets everywhere! kel is distinctly unimpressed with it 'dirtying' the house lol!